Nolan's birth story 2016

This was my second pregnancy and it was a doozy. I was a little more familiar with each stage and symptom as I progressed through this pregnancy. I never got carpal tunnel and the numbness in my arms and hands started much later than it did the first time around. I was going through a lot of different life issues during this year that were only amplified with hormone changes. 

At 38 weeks I got a stomach virus and got dehydrated... I checked into early labor for monitoring and they discovered that I also had a bladder infection so I left with antibiotics for that and nausea medicine for my virus. What fun. 

By the time I was 40 weeks pregnant, I was beyond ready to be done being pregnant for awhile BUT I still strongly wanted my delivery to be as natural as possible. I kept my mind prepared to go over my due date and wait on baby as long as my body would let me. My due date came and went but later that week at another checkup my blood pressure started getting high like it did my last pregnancy so we decided to induce again.

I was disappointed in having to induce with pitocin again. I really want to experience birth without that added feature but it wasn't in the cards for me for this labor either...Maybe next time... I've done labor with pitocin before so I know what I'm agreeing to and what I'm in for. That is the hard part, I felt like it was a little worse or more nerve racking because I did know what I was in for. Eekkk. Not fun. WORTH IT but not fun. 

Last time I didn't sleep a wink the night before vs this time I had a full night of sleep prior.  Last time it took many hours to progress vs this time it was fast.  I truly believe the chiropractor visits I had helped to make my labor and delivery go MUCH faster and smoother. He was breech but he flipped at the end thankfully! 

I was a few days past 40 weeks pregnant and I went in the doctor for an appointment at 10am. My blood pressure was high again. I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. It was a Friday and Dr Scroggs suggested we stay put and get induced. That really wasn't what I was hoping for but we did it. I was admitted by around noon and the doctor said don't tell your family to come over until this evening. It will be probably later tonight that you will have the baby. She couldn't get my IV in and had to do that twice to find a good spot. Then hooked me up to the monitor and I was having natural contractions but small. 

I was hungry so Amber snuck me some food!  I had some bread and 2 bananas. I started sitting and rolling on the birthing ball. The contractions started but were not terrible.  I was nervous because this time I knew what kinda pain I was in for and that I needed to stay focused. I began getting hard contractions where I don't want to talk, I have to look down or focus on an object. I got Amber, my doula, to hold my hand and Blaine, my husband, to sit behind me and push as hard as he can on my low back to provide counter pressure to my low back pain. Amber putting pressure on my hand helped as well. These pressure points helped to distract me and I could focus on that constant pressure instead of the wave of pain in the contraction. It's truly a wave of pain. 

I had to get back on the bed so they could check me and decided to break my water for me. I knew that once that happens things are really gonna gear up to the hard stuff. I was already in the thick of some pretty good contractions when they broke my water. That was hard to lay back and be still for them to do. Laying back is the absolute worst feeling. I hate it. It doesn't feel right during those tight contractions. That was done and I got on the ball again next to the bed.

I listen to Amber and Blaine talk between contractions but I keep my words short like "ice please". "Push there".  Once I feel the contraction coming I quickly tell them "it's coming" so they can be quiet and help me focus. It's scary and hard and it's so helpful to have the people around you go through it with you and help you focus. Amber would talk to me during it which helped. Saying things like "let the baby come down. Let it come. Breath the baby out."  That was the biggest help to put my mind in the right place. It helped me tell myself to not be tense, don't fight against the pain, work with the pain. Its a good pain because it's working your baby down and out. Breathing relaxes you to not hold that baby up there but let that pain work with your body to bring the baby down faster. Lord knows you don't want to do anything to make this last any longer than necessary...haha. 

What was awesome is my L&D nurse. It's really the luck of the draw there and it can really effect your labor and delivery by what kinda nurse you get. Mine was very supportive of my natural desires and she let me do intermittent monitoring and really stretched the rules on how long she did that too. It was SO much better to not have that extremely uncomfortable belt tightly around my belly. I really hate that monitor belt and when it get off the baby and freaks you out for no reason. Ugh. 

Well since I didn't have the monitor on I felt much more natural and calm and free to move. I got on the birthing ball and stayed there the whole time. She would just come in every 45 minutes and bend down and use a handheld monitor to check the baby so I didn't have to move or leave the ball. THAT right there was huge. #1 the ball is comfortable and a much better position for productive laboring  #2 for me moving around a lot throws me off my game. I lose concentration on breathing through those contractions. It's so important because when you don't stay in the zone...stay prepared for that next contraction and keep your breathing and rhythm...when that contraction moves up quickly and you suddenly are caught in the big pain you will lose your cool and start freaking out. 

It's hard to refocus in the middle of it. It's so important to demand (strongly request) what YOU feel is best and most comfortable. It's your birth and you know your body and what will help you get through it best. They tried to move me to the bed or somewhere else a couple times but I really wanted to stay on the ball for as long as they would allow. That was my comfort zone. I did go to the bathroom once during the hard labor. I'm sure it's probably good to walk and move around like that... but it hurts like hell. I hate it. I remember being at the bathroom with Blaine helping me. And I kinda jokingly said "why am I doing this again!? What was I thinking!"  Trying to stay lighthearted and keep it in perspective through the pain. Side Note: you are not responsible for anything you say during labor... 

Back to sitting on the ball...I started squeezing Amber's leg and when Blaine attempted to stop pushing on my low back, I freaked out and said you can't stop not even for a second... it throws me off. I desperately needed that consistency through the contractions. These contractions were so "productive" to put it nicely. They were hard but they felt like things were really changing and moving along with each one. That is something that amazed me. My first labor was so long and drawn out and took forever to progress. This one with each contraction I felt my body making a lot of progress moving that baby down and in position. It was amazing!!!  I think being on that ball in that position really helped moved the baby down and work with the contraction to do that but I also think going to the chiropractor so many times really helped get my spine and back in line and pelvis and all in the right position for baby to travel down smoothly. 

All of a sudden I felt hard pressure that felt like it was in my butt. I told Blaine, they knew that means you are almost ready to push. They signaled for the nurse and the doctor to get ready. The nurses start prepping the room. Lots of people and things coming in and setting up. I vaguely notice in the background. Meanwhile, it's time for me to move back to the bed and into position to push. They help me slowly achieve that through the contractions which are constant. I told them I want to sit up as much as possible so they fix the bed to be more like a throne position so I'm sitting up and also get my legs up. All the moving around and getting into position is hard to breath through contractions during that so I start freaking out and squeeze the heck out of Blaines hand. I have to tell myself "Lindsey! Get a grip!!" Secret: I was thinking I don't care if I break his hand... I have to regain control of myself and channel this energy. Squeezing his hand until he was cringing helped me do that for some reason. Haha. (Sorry hubby!)  

I finally got in the position they needed me and got into my zone again somewhat. At this point everything is so intense and fast and such an adrenaline rush. I kept saying... where are our moms... they are suppose to be here... I can't start pushing yet they will miss it!  Well Nolan could not wait and neither could I. With my first baby I pushed for 2 hours so Blaine wasn't anticipating a baby to show up within a few minutes... well 2 or 3 pushes later Dr Scroggs hands Blaine the scissors and Blaine said "what's this for?" (Because in his mind we are no where near ready for that and he couldn't think of what else we are using them for...  haha.) The doctor said "to cut the cord...this baby is about to be here!"  Blaine was shocked. I was shocked but I was a little too overwhelmed to think about it much. A couple more pushes and baby was here!!  Nolan was born and on my chest in all his gross baby juices and I LOVED it. There is nothing like that feeling. It's SO rewarding. It's SO empowering and magical. It's worth every ounce of pain to feel your child come into the world. The endorphins that are released. I was on cloud 9 after that. My baby is here on my chest and I don't care about thing else now... all is right in the world. Both of our moms showed up about 5 minutes after the birth. They barely missed it. I felt so bad that it all happened WAY faster then we expected and I couldn't wait for them. 

Well I had some tearing during delivery so I had to get some stitches with a little local anesthetic as that point. I had to pass the placenta as well and then lots of contracting afterwards as well because they keep you on the pitocin for awhile but it's just bad menstrual cramps then... not terrible and you are so happy and in love you don't care. I felt great after delivery... I would have gotten out of bed and walked around if they let me. 

It always amazes me what a woman's body can do. The day after I deliver a baby is when I really feel and realize what my body did... my back is so sore from pushing. The pushing part was so fast but so very intense and with so much power in my body.... the adrenaline takes over and I don't realize until the next day just how much of my muscles that I strained and used. Haha. I can't believe God made our bodies to do that!

My husband will tell you that he really appreciates having a doula for support for him and me. Amber is great and I just highly recommend a doula for any kinda birth you want. Writing down my experience sounds different then the time frame looks on paper. It's wild that I was 4cm at 3:50 and within an hour I had a baby in my arms. 

Nolan Blaine Newby arrived Friday November 11, 2016 at 4:57pm. It is Veterans Day. He weighed 8lbs 7oz and 21 inches long. 

Whats the cloth diapering about?

I thought I would share how I cloth diaper and why. Some people seem to assume the how and the why and don't feel confident enough to just ask me how it works.

First I want to point out 10 facts about cloth diapers:

1.  I do NOT touch poop. I don't get any dirtier than every mom who wipes a kids behind with wipes.  I don't put my hands in the toilet. 

2.  They are NOT a lot of work. 

3.  I don't use cloth diapers because I can't afford disposables. It has nothing to do with my income. I just don't like wasting $$ thousands of dollars unnecessarily. Even if I made $500,000 a year I would use cloth diapers because they are better and SO cute!!

4.  I personally don't do it to "save the earth."  I'm not going green. I'm not doing it because I'm concerned about landfills. 

5.  Cloth diapering is not any smellier than disposables. You have to take out the stinky trash and you have to dump your cloth diapers in the washing machine... same difference. (I do both so I know)

6.  They are better for your baby's booty. (less diaper rash)

7.  They feel the moisture more so a lot more likely to potty train sooner.  

8.  It's not complicated or expensive.  

9.  Much less likely to have blow outs. The only ones I have ever had were in disposables. 

10. It's not an all or nothing kind of thing. You are not cheating by using disposables too. You don't have to go cold turkey away from disposables.  Give it a chance and cut yourself some slack.  Find your own rhythm and more then likely you will end up using cloth diapers the majority of the time.

Where to get cloth diapers?

I actually bought my cloth diapers used. Some people don't like this idea given what we use them for but I knew it was nothing bleach and stripping couldn't fix. It's a lot easier on that up front cost to buy used.  Now when I looked on Craigslist, I actually found a lady with like 60 diapers and most of them had never been used at all. I got them all with inserts, sprayer, and shied for $150. It was an insane steal so don't expect to find that great of a find but still plan to at least spend $300. Remember this lasts years and multiple children. 

* You can also find several CD groups on facebook that will trade or sell diapers as well as just help groups for questions and tips. Its awesome!

There are several different styles, brands, and designs. All of mine are pocket diapers with snaps. These are pretty common. All of mine are Kawani Baby and Charlie Banana brand.  I have gender neutral colors and girl patterns and boy patterns. I only circulate through about 20 girl ones right now and store the rest for the future.

My Stash is in a drawer of my changing table aka a dresser. 

What my day looks like?  

Most diapers are wet pee diapers which are SO not a big deal. Usually once a day there is a poop diaper and if I'm busy I put it in the pail for later or if I have time I wash it after I get done changing the diaper.

For the pee diapers I just pull the insert out and throw it all in the pail. At night I stuff a second insert in the diaper to help keep her dry through the night. Sometimes I just use disposables at night because it can be A LOT of pee!  That's okay too, you are not sinning.

I take the poop diaper and clip it inside a splash guard shield that I place in the toilet. I grab the sprayer and spray down the poop. When I'm done I ring out the fresh water on it and pull the insert out and put in pail. Done. That's the worst part and its so worth saving thousands$$ of dollars. 

- I use the tan bin to hold the dirty cloth diapers for the day in the nursery by the changing table and disposable diaper pail. 
- I have a large black bin with a pail liner in it in the bathroom next to my sprayer that holds all diapers until laundry day.

*I pull the insert out of diaper before I throw in the black pail.
*I pour baking soda at the bottom of pail liner to help absorb odor

Rash Cream:  You can NOT use regular rash cream like Desitin when using cloth diapers. These creams buildup on fabric and cause problems. You have to use a rash cream that specifically is made for cloth diapers. I have Grandma El's natural rash cream. There are several brands to choose from online.  If you use a disposable liner, you could use regular cream though. I hardly ever need to use rash cream, sometimes it may be something in baby's diet that creates the rash though.

POOP DIAPERS get sprayed promptly if the liner doesn't catch it all. Spray shield has a strong clip that you can use to hold diaper while you spray. Spray shield is great to contain the mess and water. Ring out the water, pull out insert, put in black bin next to toilet. Flush toilet.

*Babies go through phases of pooping more often. I'm not keen on doing this spray process more than once a day so I let them sit in tan bin until bedtime each day.  Disposable liners are a Godsend to drop the need to spray down to rare occasions. 

HELPFUL TRICK:  You will notice on most cloth diapers that there is a snap on the outside of the tab that is different... this is the purpose... you have a dirty diaper that you need to contain for later... roll it up and snap the tabs onto itself so its a tight secure little ball just like a disposable would look.  Genius invention right!?!!

DISPOSABLE LINERS:  Picture below is a poop diaper after I remove the liner that caught all of the poop. This way you don't need to spray the diaper, pull out insert and throw in pail to wash later.  The disposable liners come on a perforated roll, they are super thin so pee goes through them. You can get a roll of 200 for $7 on Amazon!!  Another advantage to disposable liners is I can use regular rash cream like Desitin if I want because the cream doesn't get on actual diaper (can be risky, some say it does go through but I have not noticed).  *These liners are flushable. I personally don't want to risk clogging the toilet and its more conventient for me to just throw it away in the disposable diaper pail next to changing table.

How To Wash Cloth Diapers?

Once the black bin is full of diapers / I'm almost out of clean cloth diapers, it's time to wash!                                                                                                                                                             Take the bin to the laundry room and dump all the diapers in the washer. Fill washer with water to the point that diapers have room to move around and agitate well. (you will figure out your personal setting)     

- Rinse/Spin Cycle on COLD (rinses the pee and junk off the diapers as a prerinse)

- LONG wash cycle on WARM  (do a long cycle to get a thorough clean)

- 2nd Rinse/Spin Cycle on COLD  (this helps assure that all the detergent is out, detergent buildup can lead to stinky diapers)

DETERGENT - the type of detergent is important. You can't use just anything.  There are lots of special brands out there. I found from reading up on others experience that MANY people say TIDE gets the job done well!  I go with TIDE because its an easy to find and buy cheap item. ATTENTION: it has to be this exact TIDE, no variation of it.  TIDE powder ultra, original scent. Must use powder!

DRYING:

I throw all the inserts in the dryer. The covers I lay out to dry.  The covers wick water very well so they come out the wash barely damp to begin with so it does not take too long to dry. You can also hang dry if you prefer. Next time I'm in Houston, I'm going to go to IKEA and get this!  It's $5 and has 16 clothes clips.

Lastly I sit down to my favorite tv show and stuff my diapers and put them away. Takes about 3 minutes.

My baby's butt does look big in cloth diapers but that just adds to the cuteness!  She is able to crawl and walk just fine in them.  I say it adds a little cushion for when she falls. These diapers are just SO dang cute!  So many pretty choices!  Babies just look so much cuter in a cloth diaper.

Norah's birth story 2014

Let’s start at 37 weeks pregnant. That is when I had my cervix checked at the doctor’s office and he told me that I was 2cm dilated & 70% effaced. I was very surprised & excited. I began doing things to try and prepare my body & hopefully have a smoother labor. My 39 weeks appt came and I was 3cm & 80% effaced.  I tried EVERYTHING I could to go into labor naturally, even drinking castor oil several times to try to start contractions. I was so swollen.  I lost my "plug" & had a "show" at 38 weeks (trying to keep it less graphic but you know what I'm talking about)... all the signs said my body was really close and getting ready.  My blood pressure started getting elevated in my 39th week, I went in to Early Labor & Delivery to be observed and get my blood pressure checked.  They sent me home after an hour hooked up to the monitor.  The monitor did show that I was having contractions but they were not in a consistent pattern.  I definitely felt like I was in early labor for the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy with back pain contractions.  I slept on ice packs all over me every night.

I went in for my 40 week appointment and my blood pressure was 150/98.  The decision we made with the doctor was to induce me the next day.(not something that I wanted to happen but plans change). We felt that with my blood pressure increasing and how swollen I was it would be better to get induced now then wait until it’s an emergency & have less options to do the birth my way.  I had a written birth plan that my doula reviewed then I went over the 2 page birth plan with my doctor and got him to sign it.  A nurse advised me to get his signature and they will consider it like an order. 

We were told to go home & sleep because he wants us up at the hospital at 3am the next morning. Holy Cow!!  How can I sleep knowing what the next day holds?  It was so exciting!  We did not sleep, but we rested.  I took a bath and tried to rest as much as I could.  We told no one.  No one was at the hospital except Blaine & my doula, Amber. 

That was a decision we made a long time ago with our doula.  This was the biggest day of our lives next to our wedding and just like our wedding, we wanted to make it as low stress as possible.  This was all new to me & I was trying very hard to not set myself up for failure.  I wanted to do everything I needed to encourage a natural deliver.  This included very low stress, low key, calm & quiet.  No phone calls, no text, no one to update the status.  I needed my husband by my side in each moment with me not behind a phone updating our loved ones.  It was not an easy choice or one we made lightly but it was what we needed for this birth.  In hindsight we are still thankful for how relaxed the environment was with no pressure to keep people posted. 

We get up to the hospital at 3am with Amber alongside us the whole time.  It was a very cold & very windy morning.  We got set up in our room & they put an IV in at around 4am.  I sat in the rocking chair and on the birthing ball in the early morning just chatting with Blaine & Amber telling stories & laughing.  They started the Pitocin drip at a level 2 which is half of what they normally would.  We did this so my body could adjust & slowly increase in a more natural way.  This also makes the contractions come a little slower for me to get used to it & prepare myself.  Every 30 minutes they would come in & increase the levels.  Within a couple hours I could no longer talk but sat with my head down listening to the conversations continue with Amber & Blaine while they massage my hand with stress relief aromatherapy lotion & massage my lower back with oils.  This was very helpful to keep me relaxed through contractions.  The doctor comes in & breaks my water but I feel nothing but a small drip because the head is low and blocking the opening. A couple more hours go by & conversations have stopped & the focus of everyone is just keeping me relaxed through contractions. I started losing track of time at this point. I do remember Amber telling me to go to the bathroom. Walking was hard & they had to hold my hand. I had to stop during contractions. They helped wheel my IV pole into the bathroom with me.  After that I got in the bed. I think the Hallmark channel was on in the background the whole time, something wholesome and low drama though I quickly forgot the TV existed.

The room slowly got smaller because I could only focus on right in front of me. Blaine on one side & Amber on the other.  They would give me ice chips & a little juice and cold rags for my face. At 9:30am they checked me & I was 6cm.  I never felt like it was going fast enough. (I’m sure every woman feels that way) Blaine was very good at reminding me to breathe & HOW to breathe and focus & stay calm.  When I would talk I would lose focus & a contraction would catch me by surprise. I would not be ready for it. If I let that happen it was hard to catch up to the pain & get in the focused & controlled place that I needed to be in order to handle the pain. I quickly learned to tune everyone out & speak as little as possible. As the contractions filled my every thought it became harder to really let my brain HEAR what Blaine was telling me when I needed to breathe.  I TOTALLY needed the continuous reminder through every contraction to breathe IN!  Breathing out was not a problem. 

Blaine got VERY good at reading the monitor & reading my behavior through each one to the point that he no longer needed to look at the monitor. He was bent over very close to me holding my hand with his face in my ear talking me through it. “Here comes another one… breathe in Lindsey…. Here is the peak…. Breathe in & out Lindsey…. It’s almost over… you got this… you are doing it…. Okay it’s going down now…. Breathe Lindsey…. You did it!”  This was constant for hours. Poor guy never got a break from bending over that bed.  I needed him so much.  I relied on him to keep me calm. There were several times when I would lose focus… lose my tunnel vision and get so nervous & tense… I would shake viciously where the whole bed would tremble, the heart monitor on me would jump way up & an alarm would sound. Every time I wanted to talk about how I was feeling or what I wanted I would start shaking again, the alarm would go off & I knew I needed to calm down & refocus.  Everyone would tell me that as well.

They checked me again at 9:45am & I was 7-8cm. Amber was such a huge support for Blaine & I.  She made a point to let Blaine lead & empowered him to be my #1 support.  It gave us both more confidence as first time parents. She was such a blessing by her presence & reassurance.  As nurses change shifts & different faces came in… Amber was the constant familiar face that we could rely on to know what to expect next. 

I remember telling Blaine to get closer… and closer.  I told him that I need him in my ear whispering because otherwise it became hard to “hear” him.  It was not that the room was loud… it was just that I couldn’t focus on my surroundings at all… I had to focus inward.  At this point I could have been in a tiny closet for all I knew because space was a distraction.  At 11:00am I was at 8-9cm.  This was exciting but never good enough for me.  They told me that moving helps speed it up…. this idea sounded impossible to me. They encouraged me to turn on my side… I needed help doing that & it increased the pain a lot. I absolutely hated it but I was getting so exhausted & I knew I needed to shake things up to get things going faster. No pain, no gain they say… ouch!!!  

11:45am I was feeling like I needed to push… getting on my side really got me going. They checked me and I was 9-10cm.  I kept turning & laying on each side to help the baby come down.  It hurt SO bad & I remember just looking at Blaine’s face trying to communicate HOW bad this stinkin' hurts right now.  I had to keep telling myself to get a grip Lindsey. “Lindsey, get a grip! Pull it together!” 

Blaine, on the other hand, heard me say that I felt like pushing and his face lit up with glee & excitement. He smiled at me & said “Lindsey it’s about to happen!”  I looked at him with as much of a death stare as I could make & said “STOP SMILING!!!  No one smiles until I get this baby out of me!!”  I heard people laugh when I said that but I was dead serious!  I felt like it was cruel to smile while I’m in so much pain… haha…. Even if we will have a baby soon… I still had work to do before I could celebrate.  I’m not sure what else I said but I know I was thinking "you don’t know how quickly it will happen… and I can’t think about it being over soon…. All I can think about is this very minute & getting through this minute & the next…."

12:00pm they checked me with no change. I needed to stay on my right side & work through some contractions. I was so terrified of not breathing. I knew if I let myself lose focus at all that the contraction would take my breathe away & I don’t know what would have happened… would I pass out?... would the baby become distressed?... I don’t know but I had to keep my mind straight on the task. I remember that I was shaking my head a lot… shaking it back & forth slowly and saying “I can’t..”  I never finished the sentence & I didn’t even think of an ending of the sentence but somehow saying no with my head was keeping me grounded…. Keeping me from losing it.  I never thought "I want pain meds"... I guess because I had already firmly decided that wasn't an option/risk I was willing to take in my book. I did say “I want this to be OVER!!”  I was just so tired.  I remember thinking "its crap when they say the contraction is over." The pain was never over… I never felt like I got a break… it was just less pain… but not enough less pain to feel ready for the next contraction.  I remember saying “I just need a break.”  I thought, I can do this but I just need a BREAK!  No breaks… haha. I laugh now. 

12:15pm, still lip… which meant my cervix were not quite wide enough on one side for that big baby head!  1:05pm is when the doctor finally said I could start pushing!  I was so thrilled because while it was the worst part… pushing felt so good and productive & somewhere to channel my pain.  I pushed & pushed… The backs of my thighs were in my hands & pulled my knees to my chest. I was not very good at it…. The doctor kept correcting my technique to make it more efficient & productive.  Everyone would cheer me on & try to make me feel good while I pushed like I was getting somewhere but after every push I felt like a failure that was getting nowhere.  I loved pushing but it used up a lot of energy.  I practiced & got better at pushing the way the doctor was telling me to.  At 2pm we started doing tug of war.  I was tired… I needed a change to maybe get some better results so we used a sheet & Amber pulled on the other end. I would wait for the doctor’s que to start pushing… he would usually wait until almost at the peak of the contraction before he would let me push… I guess I got the most out of it then… but it was killing me to wait… I was anxious to push because it hurt.  I kept feeling like a failure because I would push & the baby would come down & everyone would get excited but I couldn’t get it passed a certain point and the baby would go back in a little.

I remember at some point they said the baby's head was turned to the left…. This freaked me out but either the doctor fixed it or it just fixed itself as the baby came down the birth canal, I don't know.  Every push felt like 2 steps forward & 1 step back.  It was a slow process & took every fiber of my being.  At this point I kept saying I can’t do this anymore… I just have nothing left to give…. I would finish one contraction & have no idea how I could go on…. I was so exhausted.  They kept cold rags on my chest & head. It had been so long pushing with the baby's head right there… they asked if I wanted a mirror, I wasn’t sure but I said yes… I only looked a couple times because I couldn’t focus on that…. I did put my hand down there once because I really wanted to feel the baby… it was encouraging to let me know that the baby truly was VERY close to coming out like everyone kept telling me.  I felt the little head & wished I could pull that baby out myself.  We had planned on Blaine catching the baby, but that never happened either.  

I got so frustrated complaining & begging the doctor to just go in there & pull her out.  He said “Lindsey, the baby doesn’t come with handles.”  People laughed... I can laugh now…. I was just in desperation.  The very WORST part of labor was at this point… at the end when I would push until I couldn’t any more then I had to release… this is when I could feel that big ole baby head go back into my pelvis some & I would holler in pain.  I would yell the most after a contraction & after pushing because the head was so close & putting pressure on my pelvis bone. It was killing me.  It hurt so bad that I had to yell when the contraction ended…. Then I would immediately apologize to everyone in the room… I kept saying I’m sorry after every shout. Later they told me that I did really good & better than most without epidural. (They probably tell everyone that)  At times I wanted to shout during the pushing but the doctor quickly told me NOT to do that…. When you yell during the pushing you are letting out energy & much less productive with your push. I definitely didn't want that so I kept it in & saved my shout of release & pain until after the pushing. 

 (My husband, Blaine, and my doula, Amber, both said I didn't yell as much as I think I did. Maybe it was worse in my head. They said I seemed very calm and quiet during it which is NOT how I felt in my head but on the other hand.... I couldn't really express all my feelings AND breathe so I was quiet... Which surprises me)

I think at this point the doctor could tell how exhausted I was & he could tell that this baby wasn’t going to come out without a wider opening.  He told me we can keep doing this for an hour until you tear for that head to come out or I can cut you now.  I looked at Amber and thought for a second and said “Okay, let’s do it!”  Again, this was something I hoped not to do but desperate times…. 

I was not scared of the episiotomy…. I would have been scared had I not had so much pain already but I felt like anything is worth bringing the end of this sooner.  Blaine was nervous for me & thought I needed a distraction so he kept talking to me through it.  I could hear the doctor cutting me… Blaine was hoping I couldn’t hear it because he thought I would freak out. I felt the stings of the local anesthesia & then I heard the cuts… it did not freak me out because you can’t imagine how desperate I was for this baby to finally come out & for my pushing to WORK!!  

As he was cutting I felt a super strong contraction coming on…. I was holding it in trying not to push until he finishes cutting.  I remember thinking “hurry, hurry, I need to push!!”  I told him I need to push so tell me when…. As soon as he said GO I was so glad to give a BIG push!  And with that the little (felt big!) head came out & with a second push the shoulders & body came out.  It was OVER!!!  It was 2:45pm.

The baby was right there all that time but I just couldn’t fit it through without a tear or cut.  Blaine says when the baby came out that I immediately snapped out of the trance that he says I looked like I was in & returned to being the Lindsey he knew.  He just kept saying I was super woman & he doesn’t know how I did it. It was nice to have that adoration from your husband. The first thing I said after the baby was born was a joke to lighten the mood... (after all, they all listened to me scream bloody murder for 2 hours)

 and to let everyone know I was okay… I said “Double check the toes!! I had 11 toes… double check the toes.”  Everyone laughed including me.  Finally we could ALL smile!  They put the baby on my chest & I held her in her nasty slim & kissed her. It felt euphoric & truly rewarding for all my hard work.  Blaine was thinking “Don’t kiss her all slimy like that…”  I couldn’t care less though, I LOVED having her on my chest to hold.  I didn’t even know the gender… we were all swept up with the natural delivery that we forgot.  Amber reminded Blaine to check & tell Lindsey.  It’s a GIRL!!!  I was overjoyed & kept saying my angel girl!!  Blaine cut the cord. I breastfed for the first time soon after & it was perfect. And the rest… is history!  

Norah Kate Newby arrived on Thursday November 13, 2014 at 2:45pm. 

8lbs 15oz.  21inches long.

*Next time I deliver, I'm shooting for no induction, no pitocin. It would be nice for my water to break naturally.(though only 10% do) No epidural is definitely the way to go and as soon as the labor was over I said I would do it again in a heartbeat.  The risks of pain meds are not worth it and the power in feeling every moment was so amazing!  It's just one day of my life in pain.... A small sacrifice to help the odds that my child will be as perfect as God intended. My hope is to prepare others for a natural birth and encourage them in what you are totally capable of! I know I read a lot of natural labor stories & appreciated the candid approach that made me feel more prepared. The key is a lot of education on the subject & putting a lot of supportive people that encourage you to do it around you.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  - 2 Timothy 1:7